Ralph (Stan)
My teas gone cold I’m wondering why I,
Should bother with it all,
All I do is try to get help
And returned is fuck all
Even if I did,
It would all be crap
But here lies the principle,
it reminds me,
That I’m paying tax, I’m paying tax
Dear Doc, I called you but you still aint practising,
I left my name, email address and mobile phone with reception,
I went to A&E twice in autumn, you must not-a known,
There probably was a problem with the filing or somethin’
Sometimes I don’t bother to follow up with how I’m doing
But anyways, fuck it, Help me out man, I know you can
My friend’s Doctor has just helped her, hear that Dr Foo?
If I get some as well, guess what I’m gonna do?
I’ma stop writing you,
I read about the funding too, I’m not so sorry,
I had a friend kill himself because of the lack of money
I know you probably hear this every day, but I know mental health
I know right, god forbid I try to get to know myself!
I’ve got a room full’a up to date medical textbooks man
I like the article on prolonged trauma, that shit was fat.
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
Just to chat, truly yours, your fucked up patient,
This is Hazel
My teas gone cold I’m wondering why I,
Should bother with it all,
All I do is try to get help
And returned is fuck all
Even if I did,
It would all be crap
But here lies the principle,
it reminds me,
That I’m paying tax, I’m paying tax
Dear Doctor, you still ain’t called or wrote, I wish you’d make time,
I aint mad, I just think it’s fucked up you don’t treat my health
If you didn’t want to treat me outside clinic hours,
You didn’t have to, but you coulda referred me on to crisis team,
This is my life man, I’m only 26 years old,
I was hurting myself for days and you said no,
That’s pretty shitty man, didn’t you sign the Doctor oath?
There are GP’s out there who at least try to do more than you do,
I ain’t that mad though, I just don’t like bein’ lied to,
Remember when we met in Jan you said if I wanted to be referred, I could?
See I’m just like you in a way
I would prefer to get through a day,
That you could treat with one simple nasal spray,
I can relate to your letters
But it’s not my personality that’s disordered, so forget it,
But I don’t really got shit else choice, you persist with this disorder,
I once even got a letter saying I was violent!
But sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds,
It’s like a drug, it’s the only thing that stops the constant voices,
See you have a Phd, and they respect how you tell it
My husband’s fed up ’cause you abuse watchful waiting 24/7,
But you don’t know that waiting is worse, no one does
But no-one knows me like I know myself, especially you
You don’t know what it’s like for people like me getting no help, you gotta call me man,
I’ll be the best patient you’ll ever lose,
Sincerely yours, H
P.S Can I have more Diazepam, too?
My teas gone cold I’m wondering why I,
Should bother with it all,
All I do is try to get help
And returned is fuck all
Even if I did,
It would all be crap
But here lies the principle,
it reminds me,
That I’m paying tax, I’m paying tax
Dear Mister “I’m senior partner and I know everything”
This will be the last private psych letter I ever bring,
It’s been 6 years and still no referral, I don’t get it,
I pay my rent, my taxes, my bills, I work — I’m perfect!
So this is my complaint I’m sending you, I hope you read it
I’m heading to the train tracks now, I know there’s a train coming
Hey Doctor, I drank a bottle of Rum,
You dare me to do this?
you know that film ‘Joker’ that came out in 2019
A mentally ill loner gets abandoned by the health system
Things get progressively worse, and he deteriorates
He cracks and kills, as he felt invisible in the world
This is how this is, things never got better, I could’ve been rescued,
From myself, But that’s not my fault, and now it’s too late, unless you…
All I wanted was a lousy referral or some drugs,
I hope you know I’ve ripped up both of my legs and arms,
We could’ve got me better, just think about it!
You ruined it now, I hope you can’t sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can’t sleep and you scream about it
And when you need help I hope you’re shown the same exit sign I was!
See Doc, shut up I’m trying to talk!
Hey Doc, that’s one of the voices in my head,
But no, it didn’t go away, did it? Something to do with lack of help…
’Cause I got nothing for years and years, but don’t worry it’ll die soon,
Well, gotta go, The platform announced a train coming,
I’m so sorry that giving me treatment was so unbecoming.
My teas gone cold I’m wondering why I,
Should bother with it all,
All I do is try to get help
And returned is fuck all
Even if I did,
It would all be crap
But here lies the principle,
it reminds me,
That I’m paying tax, I’m paying tax
Dear H, I meant to write you sooner but you’re no priority,
You said you’re hearing voices, why not spend some time in the priory?
Look, I know that’s expensive, and you’re paying money.
But I’ve written a referral letter,
And you’ll have to pay for the letter
We are sorry you feel unsatisfied with our service, we are
Don’t take it personally that we can’t see to you: ‘cause funding
But what’s this about you’re drinking alcohol to help, too?
I say that’s a depressant, you don’t seem to want to get better
You have got issues, you need Dialectal Therapy,
To help with your intolerance to stress when you choose to flee,
I don’t understand you questioning your diagnosis?
That very letter you wrote is a symptom of the psychosis.
I really think your husband can help you here,
he can give you 24/7 suicide watch as his career
I hope you get to read this letter, I just don’t think you need it in good time
Before you end up in crises again, I think you’re doing just fine
If you relax a little, why not take a bath?
Listen to music? Try to understand, self care shouldn’t be top priority
We just don’t think you’ll do some crazy stuff
We see this one thing on the news a couple weeks ago that made us real sick
Some girl assaulted a nurse, she was in the ED
she had self harmed all over, and she took a load of prescription pills,
And then she sat on the train tracks, she wrote a complaint, They didn’t release who to,
Come to think about it, I think she was you.
Oops.
